How did I go from this guy
to this guy?
I was the typical shy guy...
From a young age, I struggled with confidence. The fear of not being accepted, of not fitting in, and the pressure of societal expectations left me feeling like I didn't quite measure up. Masculinity was a nebulous concept to me, and I didn't feel like I had it. I had no clear role model to emulate, except for my dad, who seemed to have it all figured out - a strong, confident man who could fix anything, talk to anyone, and was never at a loss for words.
But I was not my father. I was overweight, and I was bullied for it. The pain of being taunted and teased left an indelible mark on me, and I began to seek solace in food. My relationship with my body was unhealthy, and it spiraled out of control. I struggled with anxiety and depression, and I didn't know how to break the cycle of self-loathing and self-sabotage.
Then, at the age of 19, everything changed. I fell hard for a girl, but she was not interested in me. Devastated, I joined a gym the next day, determined to transform myself into the kind of man who could attract her. I threw myself into exercise, and I began to see results. I lost weight, gained muscle, and shaved my head. Suddenly, I was turning heads, and I felt validated. I enjoyed the attention, and I reveled in it. I bounced from relationship to relationship, chasing after love wherever I could find it. I was not a faithful man, and eventually, my behavior caught up with me.
The day it all changed.
I hit rock bottom when I was kicked out of my home at the age of 31. I was struggling to repair my relationship with my girlfriend, and I felt like a failure. I didn't know where to turn, so I booked a flight to Morocco to attend a yoga retreat. There, I met Cate, a Reiki healer who changed my life forever.
Cate helped me to see that I was holding onto a lot of anger and resentment towards my mother. This anger was poisoning all of my relationships, and I needed to face it if I wanted to heal. She also helped me to realize that I had been suppressing my emotions in an effort to be "man enough." I had been hiding my vulnerabilities, my fears, and my doubts behind a mask of bravado, and it was killing me inside.
That experience was the catalyst for my journey into men's work and coaching. I sought wise elders and took part in men's circles studied as much as I could. It was innate, it was meant to be. I was already doing this work, both in my personal life and as Personal Trainer. I knew that I wanted to help other men who were struggling with the same issues that I had faced. I wanted to help them break free from the constraints of toxic masculinity and embrace a healthier, more authentic expression of themselves. I wanted to help them find their voice, speak their truth, and step into their power.
And that's exactly what I do now. I coach men who are ready to evolve, to shed the old patterns that no longer serve them, and to embrace a new way of being. I help them to integrate their emotions, their vulnerabilities, and their strengths into a healthy expression of masculinity.
My mission is simple: to empower as many men as possible to embody their true selves and live their best lives.